The Stunning Wit of Dorothy Parker


I am in love with Dorothy Parker this week. I like to think she and I would have been great friends. It’s said she sharpened her tongue in the morning after brushing her teeth. She was a wise, witty woman. A bit ahead of her time, perhaps, but her words transcend such constructs.

Dorothy Parker on writing:

I can’t write five words but that I change seven.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem

I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.

On sex:

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

It’s a small apartment, I’ve barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.

Ducking for apples – change one letter and it’s the story of my life

On love:

Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough.

By the time you swear you are his, shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is infinite and undying- Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying.

On life:

I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.

And my all-time favorite:

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